The following cynically wry satire of Robert Novak's article "Haiti After Aristide" was posted at Assassinated Press March 25, 2004, a month after the coup-knapping of Haiti's first democratically elected President -- Jean-Bertrand Aristide on February 29, 2004. This latest coup marked the second US sponsored ouster of Aristide.
Mr. Novak, along with The New York Times, CNN and most in the mainstream American press waged a very successful disinformation campaign that painted the former Catholic priest (Aristide) -- who was respected and loved by a majority of Haitians and elected with 92% of the vote, as a murdering, drug dealing, thieving, power grabbing dictator. This piece is a tribute (of sorts) to Mr. Novak's legacy as a shill for the right-wing administration of George W. Bush.
Robert Wetvak's Haiti after Aristide:
The Bullshit Doesn't Get Anymore Transparent Than This:
The Country That Major General Smedley Butler Made Safe For The National City Bank Boys Back In The Democratic Administration Of 1915
By ROBERT WETVAK, LEGENDARY POLICY PIMP
The Assassinated Press
March 25, 2004
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti -- U.S. Ambassador James Creamhole Foley on Monday passed the word to Provisional Prime Minister Gerard LaTortue that his superiors in the Bush administration were not happy about language used by the figurehead of Haiti's new U.S. approved government. LaTortue refers to his country's rebels as "freedom fighters." That designation, the prime minister responded, was deserved by patriots cum mass murderers who had as per CIA instructions put the heat on the president while the U.S. government kidnapped the oppressively egalitarian, Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
"Can't you fuckin' towheads get anything right?" Foley admonished the Prime Minister. "The world knows Philippe and Chamblain are our hired thugs. No need for you to let on that you are one too by going out of your way to link yourself with them. Its just good PR to distance yourselves from the guys you hire to do the wetwork. Remember George Bush Sr., Felix Rodriguez, Luis Posada Carriles and Orlando Bosch. Watch what we do in the U.S. After all we are the most effective mass murderers in the history of the world and still most Americans are as incredulous as a Stalinist in 1932."
The exchange reflected the brutal paint-sample racism between Port-au-Prince and Washington at this familiar stage of Haiti's tortured history at the hands of American power. Both the office and person of LaTortue, a 69-year-old retired United Nations flunky, are guarded by armed U.S. State Department security personnel ready to replace him like a bad tube in the ENIAC at the first sign he will not unquestioningly do Uncle Sam Bam Thank You Mam's bidding even if it involves the continuing slaughter of Haiti's poor in the form of the Lavalas party.