Monday, May 12, 2008

Mad At Hillary | SNL Harpoons Hillary Clinton

This Saturday Night Live sketch is not pulling any punches. Looks like the Clintons are pissing off more people. They are standing in the glaring light of their own classless blind ambition.

The Clintons are gambling that the superdelegates will buy the arguments that 1) her supporters are racist and won't vote for an African-American who represents the stated ideals of the Democratic party, 2) that African-Americans are slavishly loyal to the Dems and will turn-out to vote for Hillary even if they perceive that Obama should be the nominee by every standard set and 3) that the win at all costs, racist, morally bankrupt tactics of her campaign will be forgiven and forgotten by American voters (America loves a winner!).

    "The following is a message from the next president of the united states, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.
HILLARY (Amy Poehler):
    Good Evening, my fellow Americans. As we all know, this has already been a long hard-fought campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination. But tonight with my recent victory in Indiana and Senator Obama's in North Carolina. We remain exactly where we were four months ago, HOPELESSLY DEADLOCKED. Therefore this primary will be decided, as it should be, by the superdelegates. Based not on primary results or caucuses, or delegate counts, or popular vote. But on their sober assessment of which candidate will be the strongest against Senator McCain in November.

    Tonight, I am here to tell you why I am that candidate.

    FIRST, I AM A SORE LOSER. If and when I am the nominee. I know, as do the superdelegates, that Senator Obama will work his heart out for my election. If on the other hand, Senator Obama is chosen, I will probably refuse to campaign for him... thus insuring his defeat, so that I can run again in 2012. You see, unlike my opponent I AM JUST NOT GOING TO LOSE GRACEFULLY. This is not a criticism of Senator Obama, it's just a fact.

    SECOND, MY SUPPORTERS ARE RACIST. If and when I am the nominee, Senator Obama's AA supporters will be disappointed perhaps, but they will still rally to me. If however, Senator Obama is the nominee, my supporters will refuse to vote for him, partly because I will secretly tell them not to, but mainly because they are RACIALLY BIASED and would never vote for any African-American candidate. I am not bragging, that's just the way it is.

    Now to those of you that worry, that if my opponent is denied the nomination, most African-Americans might simply stay home. I remind you, a) until Senator Obama shockingly, rudely, and might I add selfishly won the Iowa caucuses, most African-Americans supported me. b) My husband was the first black president. And c) in the days ahead we expect to receive the endorsement of America's preeminent African-American leader, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

    Which brings me to my THIRD and final argument, unlike Senator Obama, I HAVE NO ETHICAL STANDARDS... I will stop at nothing, absolutely nothing, to win... Whereas with Senator Obama there are some things he simply will not do. Take for example, the race card, which he has been reluctant to play; as in anyone who doesn't vote for me is a racist... I on the other hand will be happy to play the gender card. And claim that anyone who doesn't vote for me is a sexist. In fact, once Senator Obama is out of the picture, I look forward to playing the race card myself. As in anyone who doesn't vote for me, is both a sexist and a racist. Now to those of you who say, she'll never do that, it doesn't even make sense. I answer, if you believe that, then you don't know me.

    So there you have it, SORE LOSER, RACIST SUPPORTERS, NO ETHICAL STANDARDS, qualities Senator Obama simply cannot match. That's not an attack on my opponent, that's just the truth. When you consider that, the choice is obvious."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ah ah ah. Seriously hillary, drop out. You're destroying the Clinton legacy for the sake of delaying the inevitable for just a few weeks.

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