Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Will Jean-Bertrand Aristide Apologize for Coup-napping?

Former president George W. Bush is expected to ask Jean-Bertrand Aristide for an apology for his reluctance to leave the Haitian presidency at the request of the United States in the early morning hours of February 29, 2004.

Reports of the expected announcement comes from officials high up or just high in the U.S. State Department. Some have speculated that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton herself may be issuing the statement on behalf of the former president, who in recent years has formed a close and at times playful bound with her husband, ex-president Bill Clinton.

According to a source at the State Department, who spoke on condition of anonymity, the extension of this "olive branch" will be the highlight a joint event which will be attended by Bush, the Clintons and representatives of Haiti's rich oligarchy.

The brief statement from Bush will say:
"Greetings, Jean-Bertrand, it's George Bush here... Jr. I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology some time and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my Embassy goo-oo-n… personnel. Why didn't you have the sense to leave immediately? Why did you have to be "persuaded" to sign that resignation letter and get on that plane? So what, you weren't told where we were taking you and your family? Why didn't you just trust that the U.S. had your best interest at heart when we took you "back to Africa" as it were? After all, they do speak French in the Central Republic of Africa.
So give it some thought and certainly pray about this... ah I know you were ex-communicated by the Catholic Church for your political activism on behalf of the poor, but still do pray on it, won't ya? Do come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day there in South Africa. Say hi to that guy who was on the terrorist watch list for most of my presidency… ah what's his name, Mande... ah something."


thezenhaitian said...

It's an apology that has been long-awaited by the folks at the State Department... hopefully Aristide will take his cue from Anita Hill.

Libra said...

They've got some damned nerve even CONSIDERING such a lie from someone who's life was on the line during that whole scam!! All this just to make their story more believable. This seriously pisses Me off, and is a slap in the face to Aristide, Haiti, and the entire Haitian people! Seems like whenever blan do wrong, they do the opposite with Haiti, and make us pay for it. Sound familiar? Haitian Revolution and the French demanding 90 million in gold? Europeans love to embarass us.

thezenhaitian said...

This post was satire. I have a weird sense of humor.

The Anita Hill vs. Clarence Thomas controversy resonated with me. I was writing to parody the idea of Anita Hill apologizing for something that Clarence Thomas did to her... he sexually harassed Hill, so 20 years later, his wife asks for an apology. Although her husband was appointed to a lifetime post on the highest court in the land, the wife was still outraged 20 years later that he was "defamed" by a subordinate. Ms. Hill obviously did not know her place!

I wrote this piece of satire because It occurred to me that the U.S. government has the same kind of audacity and could very well demand an apology as a condition for President Aristide returning home or for whatever other reason they can think of.

That kind of arrogance is the entitlement that those in power think they can exercise over those of us who don't.

Unknown said...

Wonderful piece of satire.

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